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Friday, 18 August 2017

Pirate Zone

The past week my writing group has been writing A story about Somalia. Somalia is a country that had a lot of pirates. here is my writing enjoy. 


It was another pirate day and a boat was appearing in the distance. I told my crew to look they said it’s a another pirate ship. it got closer and closer and closer it got up to the stage when we knew that it was not a pirate ship. it was an invader I told my crew to point the ship towards the other ship. It was like war we got to the back of the big white ship and took out the people that were, guarding the engine of the ship. We made our way to the captain I took his hat and said give me the key mate. He looked at me like he had a idea. Finally he gave me the key and I turned the ship off and told my bodyguard to lock him up. I was confused my bodyguard did not answer me I looked to my right and I saw a tool white robot I ran to my left but another robot was there. They tied me up and took the key and the hat back. They told me to look outside the window and I saw my crew tied up. They threw us over the boat and we went away. Whenever we saw another ship that was big and while we would all way keep away.

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8 comments:

  1. Miss Morgan21 August 2017 at 12:42

    Hey Sage,
    What a great introduction! The language you have used is fantastic! How did you know it was not just another pirate ship? I wonder what the captain was thinking when you stole his key? Something to work on would be having an interesting title - because Somalia writing is not as interesting as your story!

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous28 August 2017 at 11:06


      Thank you Miss Morgan for your feedback. The reason why I knew that it was another ship is because why wood other ship find this land. Maybe the captain was thinking i regret coming to this place. It’s nice to see that you are looking at my blog. By the way do you have a name that I code of used for my writing rather than Somalia writing?

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    2. Miss Morgan28 August 2017 at 11:50

      An interesting title could be... "Not just an Ordinary Adventure", "A Pirate's Life: Behind the Scenes", "A Pirate's Mistake", "The Ultimate Showdown" Something that captures the battle that the character is taking? What do you think?

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    3. Anonymous29 August 2017 at 09:54

      Thank you miss Morgan for some ideas. now that you have told me what a good title can be like, I well now think what can a good title be? Maybe the Pirate zone? Or the sea of Pirate's? Can you tell me if these ideas are good? Again thank you for some ideas.

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    4. Miss Morgan29 August 2017 at 15:39

      I like both of those titles! They sound great, way more engaging. Remember when you are putting in a title the main words are capitalised e.g. "The Pirate Zone" or "Sea of Pirates."

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    5. Mrs Mclachlan1 September 2017 at 10:59

      I love the conversation the two of you are having! Sage, it is awesome to hear how reflective you are being. You have clearly taken Miss Morgan's advice about your title and have thought clearly about what you could say instead. Nice job! Have you decided on one you would like to use?

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    6. Anonymous7 September 2017 at 11:11

      Thank you miss Mclachlan for your reply. and yes I have decided on what I well name it. It well be the Pirate zone.

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  2. Anonymous18 September 2018 at 08:42

    Hi sage i like your story i just think you need to work on a interesting tittle

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